Triptych
by SoloWolf
Summary: Three sets of three drabbles. Orange and White, nonslash. Rated for swearing and violence.
1. Mind, body and soul

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dogs – I'm just playing with them

**Mind**

_Orange_

There's just one thought that runs through his mind as he feels the cold metal of the gun barrel nestle against his cheekbone – I deserve this. And strangely enough, it doesn't seem to scare him, the knowledge that he's going to die. He knew that anyway, knew that at the back of his head from the moment that the bullet sliced through his flesh like a red-hot knife, but now it's a certainty, and it doesn't feel so bad. He knows it has to go like this; he couldn't live with himself, knowing what he's done. One bullet, for freedom.

**Body**

_Orange_

It's the pain that freaks me out the most. I've never felt anything like it before, not even when I fell out of a tree and broke my leg as a kid. This is in another league entirely. And I can't get away from it, can't shut it out, can't blank my mind to the fact that there's a bullet in my gut, that I'm dying. It's like a fire in my stomach, my vision blurring, sharp stabs of red-hot ice shooting through my entire body. But through it all, one constant, one thing I can hold on to. You.

**Soul**

_White_

I never really thought I had a soul. You know what I mean? I didn't believe in all that 'basic human goodness' shit. I just got the job done, and looked after number one. The rest of the world could go fuck itself for all I cared. And then you turned up. Smart-arse, cocky, but at the same time, still a kid, still needing someone to show you the ropes. And I was cool with that. And then it all went wrong. And suddenly you were the most important thing. I had to keep you safe. I had to help.


	2. Hook, line and sinker

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dogs – I'm just playing with them.

**The hook**

_Orange_

It was the danger, I suppose. That, and the fact that going undercover was the coolest thing you could do, from the point of view of a young-gun cop. Actually pretending to be a criminal, getting right in with a major gang – sounded too fuckin' good to be true. And it _was_ fun, once you got over the nerves, and the fact that you were surrounded by guys who'd kill cops just 'cause they felt like it. It gave me the biggest adrenaline hit ever, setting off for that job. Too bad it didn't last. Too fuckin' bad I'm dying.

**The line**

_Orange_

I have to admit, when Holdaway handed me that paper, I didn't think I'd ever be able to learn the fuckin' thing, let alone make it convincing enough to fool a bunch of hard-bitten criminals. But here I am, sitting in a bar with a couple of motherfuckers who'd shoot me as soon as look at me if they knew who I really am, and I'm enjoying myself. The lines just keep coming, and I don't even need to think - I _was_ there, I _did _do that, that _was_ me. I've got them, I can tell. And it's _good_.

**Sinking**

_Orange_

It's like I'm at the bottom of a well, looking up at you so far away from me. I'm sinking, falling into darkness, falling into the cold, black emptiness that chills my heart and freezes my bones. But I can feel your arms around me, hear your voice, and you're pulling me back, back into the light, and I smile. I know you're worried for me – hell, I'm worried too- but I also know that I'm betraying you, that I'm lying, that even if I do make it, I've got to face seeing you behind bars. It's not worth it.


	3. Blood, sweat, and tears

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dogs** – **I'm just playing with them.

**Blood**

_White_

I didn't know anyone had that much blood in them, but you're lying there, still alive, still breathing, in what looks like an ocean of sticky redness. Your hands are coated in it, like mine as I bend over you, trying to find some way to help you, some way to ease the pain I can see in your eyes. Seems like this whole day's been soaked in blood – the bodies in the jewellers, those cops I killed, blood on that girl's shirt, bloodstains on white leather as you screamed in agony, blood on my hands. So much fuckin' blood.

**Sweat**

_White_

I take a comb from my pocket, running it through your sweat-soaked hair. You smile. I know it's foolish, but it's something to do, something to keep my mind off what you must be going through, something to keep you from concentrating on the pain that I hear in your voice. Your skin's pale, soaked in sweat, smeared with blood. I've never been this close to a dying man before, and it's tearing me apart, watching you suffer. Why did it have to be you? If I'd picked another car, if I'd gone round that side, you wouldn't be dying.

**Tears**

_White_

I know I'm crying, but I can't stop the tears rolling down my face. How could you do this? How could you betray us, betray me? And how did I care for you, befriend you? You're a cop. You're a cop. Cops aren't people, but I cared for you, I helped you, and you threw it back in my face. It's so hard to take in, but I know what I have to do. And you know too, I can see it. You know. My hand shakes, but I'm resolute, pressing the barrel to your cheek. I pull the trigger.


End file.
